Well,
Good news folks. Without even starting the CFiTT on October 10th, Im already guaranteed at least a second place finish, since I have received a whopping 2 intent to race letters. One of them from Rob Roberts the Other from the only single speeder and he cant even guarantee to be there, but if he does show, then he would posses the coveted single speed course record (assuming he completes the course as its laid out).
After years of XC racing, I loved it when I would hit the line and there would only be 10 people there lined up. It always meant that I would at least get a top ten finish. It's great when someone tells you the results, and intentionally leaves out how many people lined up ( I myself have been guilty of this very thing several times).
I think yesterday, I resolved that I have grown weary of the internet and all the trappings it brings. I deleted one account from a not to be named forum only because I feel that it brings me more stress then it did benefit. I contemplated deleting my 'not to be named social networking site' page as well, but decided to keep it, with the sole purpose of being an exhibitionist and writing hot wall post and loving words to the Love of my Life. Ya I guess, if you have a Blog, and you really Blog, your an exhibitionist of sorts. You give individuals the opportunity to have insight into your ideas and your life and your experiences both good and bad. I wish I had the talent that some of the other bloggers have to come up with some funny post on almost a daily and consistent basis and maybe when I can become an even better person I will find the energy to do this.
As it stands, I am elated that we have completed GPXing the route. But still feel the stresses that are upon my head daily. The constant rising everyday to work, the missing of the W.P., the constant around the clock work that I do when I get home, the impending stress of School starting soon and not having the finances to do adequate school shopping. I must admit, this morning I feel the weight of it all heavily.
I seriously look at other individuals existance and wonder deeply if they ever consider how good they have it? If they ever sit and think what it would be like to walk a mile in someone elses shoes. They sit there and stress and worry, but they probably got it real good.
I even contemplated deleting this blog. I knew it was true, that people hear what they want to hear, but I guess I am learning as well, that people read what they want to read, and interpret what they want to interpret.
Heck, I even contemplated just changing my phone number, and only giving it to a select few, just for the simplicity of it all. Just to not have to deal.
But, when I spoke to the Warrior's Princess she brought it all back in line for me. She always knows just exactly what to say and what to do and what I need to hear to realign my chakra and get my focus back to where it needs to be.
In the grand scheme of things, some people are exactly what they see reflected in other people's eyes, and some, simply are just what they want to create for themselves.
I think its time I simplify my life, and it starts by reducing my digital profile. It continues with being a having a little more discretion as to who I invite to my 'inner circle'. Not that I am anyone of extreme importance, or anyone who is so special, just because I have really no need or desire for anymore 'Drama' then I already have to manage.
Ok.
Laters,
The NaKeD InDiaN
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